Sometimes it's hard to let people know that I know what I know without letting them know they don't know that I know more than they think I know.

Have I lost you yet?

I hope not. Here's how I got caught up in the cyclical (non-)logic of my hard-boiled brain. I'm an experienced musician. I've been involved in everything from taking sight-singing classes in college to studio-engineering, songwriting, recording, performing, producing, playing, accompaniment...well, you get the picture. I'm no genius or anything, just your everyday, run-of-the-mill, somewhat serious musician. I've learned a lot, taught a lot, and I have so much yet to learn. In groups I'm not necessarily a shy person, but I don't usually say anything unless I have something to say, so most of the time I keep to myself. I know, hard to believe, eh? Anyway, I recently joined a singing group and because of my usual wall-flower attitude, they had no idea who I am or the level of my musical abilities. We went through a rehearsal, and I did a fair job sight-singing (I love that challenge!) and by the end was pretty confident of all but two vocal parts which I planned to practice at home. People came up and offered to let me sit next to them so I could pick up the parts or keep on key.... it was great to see so many gracious and generous singers! I didn't want to mislead them into thinking I was a musical moron in need of constant tutoring, but I didn't want to "brag" about my musical prowess, either. I could say that I was in desperate need and make them feel good that they were helping someone, or I could say that I "know it all" and make them think I was an egotistical moron. If I did the first, and they found out I knew more than I let on, would they feel bad because I deceived them? Would they think I was trying to make a fool out of them? If I did the second, and messed up once in a while, would they gloat that the "diva" screwed it up? Could I ever get out of this quandary? How could I be humble without humiliating myself or someone else?

Whew. Yep. I'm an egotistical moron.

The question really was not whether I needed help or not, but whether I want to get to know my fellow singers. I would love to sit next to someone who can hear a note before they sing it and keep on pitch even when the voice in their other ear is off. I would love to harmonize up close and feel the Spirit move as we sing from our hearts.

I can't wait for the next rehearsal and the time we stand together and pour our hearts through our voices to the audience.

These people are GREAT! Maybe they'll put up with me for a while, eh?

Lord, teach me to be humble...and not in a proud way! 

And that's the bottom line.